The ego mind is a bastard. As soon as one is happy and content it will find something to nag about. It will pick and pick, like someone who obsessively picks at a scab until the scab comes off and it starts bleeding. At the smell of blood all the scavengers will start circling and yelping, and if you give in to it you will quickly start spiralling down into your own personal, self made living hell. That’s how the ego mind works. In my opinion, I think this is what the bible means when it speaks about Hell. It’s when we find ourselves in that dark place from which there is no escape, where we drive ourselves crazy with the assumptions we make and we allow our imaginations to conjure up awful scenarios instead of good ones.
The good news is that we can indeed control it. If we are conscious and we can recognize what is ego mind bullshit and what is authentic and real. It took me a long time to recognize and separate the wheat from the chaff. And sometimes I still give in to it. Call it a little self indulgent trip down pity me lane. Sometimes I like to cradle my demons and nurse them and I find a certain pleasure in displaying their rotten carcasses and hauling all the skeletons out the closet. I suppose there is some good in doing that too. It gave me the opportunity to look at them in the light, closely examine them and to recognize that they are not real. The trick comes in allowing them to turn to dust and not to conjure them up again when the ego mind starts picking.
We are not wired to be constant. That is not what life is about. Everything works in cycles, sometimes we are on an up-cycle and sometimes a down-cycle. That’s life. It’s how we manage our cycles that makes the difference. It’s easy when we are in a happy place to smack the hand away of the ego mind that is picking. It’s more difficult when we are not. But the point is that we can. Life is a constant learning school. Every single thing that comes up for emotionally, every single person that triggers an emotion from us, is an opportunity to learn something. And learning means moving forward. And for me, learning and moving is what it’s all about. To embrace life’s fluidity and go with the flow is what makes me feel alive. To remain stagnant is death. The process isn’t always comfortable but isn’t it better to feel something rather than feel nothing at all. Isn’t it better to accept and embrace my nature, that of change than to be uncomfortable in trying to hold on to the past.
I believe that the infinity of the Universe also resides within me, that if everything is energy, every thought has an energetic vibration, there is nothing stopping me from accessing all the data that has even been or will ever be. It’s just a question of keeping my vibrational level on the same frequency as the things I want to access. Life is an amazing experience. More amazing than what any of us could ever imagine. Live in technicolour.