This, that and the other
I really had an awesome evening at my not so secret, secret birthday party. I just love having all my people around and laugh and talk and eat. We had one LONG table and we had a good visit. It was awesome. And can I just say again how much I love living where I do it’s a many leveled kind of awesome!
So much of stuff happening in my world at the moment again. I like that. Possibilities. I thrive on that. I have grown rather fond of the unknown come to think of it. But ja we will see what happens. But I’m excited about the possibilities. In other news, Cape Town will be here again in exactly 3 weeks, yay! Awesome. The most common response I get about me here and him there is “oh I don’t know how you do it” and yes it can be hard. But I knew that we lived far apart when I started seeing him. Even though he isn’t always physically with me, he is always ‘there’ for me. Know what I mean? That’s more than I can say for some people within close proximity. The boy is all different kinds of awesome. No bullshit. I like that. I just focus on the now.
Tomorrow my 2 week stint being kidless is over. It’s such a mixed emotion thing. It’s nice to have a break and awful not having them with me at the same time. But you know such is the realities of divorce. That’s what happens when you have children with someone and you split. When I was growing up I didn’t get to see the parent I wasn’t living with at the time every day. And neither do millions of other children. We all grow up and we all survive. And if we have issues there is always therapy. I do think though that all children need is love. Love and boundaries. It’s what makes them feel safe. And as a divorced kid (for me), the only important thing is to feel loved and safe. So that is what I do, I make sure my kids know that we both love them, no matter what. I make sure they have rules, boundaries, routines to help them feel safe. I make sure they know they can come to me no matter what. And we have conversations in an environment where they don’t feel judged and I make them understand it’s never about choosing sides, because at the end of the day both their parents love them and it doesn’t matter that we don’t all live together. They are loved.
We can only do what we can. And I suppose I’m lucky that I come from a divorced home. I can draw from personal experience. It helps because I can relate. The two major issues that I have from coming from a divorced home is abandonment and rejection. Biggies for sure which I have under control most of the time. But I can try to help my kids not have those issues. And I know what other’s to look out for. So again. Everything is as it should be.
