>And I don’t mean drifting like in those guys with their fast cars around corners.
I am in earnest looking for other employment this year and as much as I want to leave and feel utterly un-enthusiastic about my current work situation. I feel the same when I browse through the loads of jobs on job sites. I am really struggling to get excited and motivated about doing the same thing at another company. I am just a little bit resentful that I can’t also do something that I love.
It would be easy if I actually could find a compromise and find something that I love doing that isn’t exactly what I want to be doing. What I really want to do is not possible (don’t have the capital), the other thing I want to do I need a Masters degree and study for 7 years so that is also not going to happen. And the other other thing I want to do I also need to study for about 2 years which is also not going to happen, so I have to be happy (as always) with 2nd best and be stuck with doing meaningless admin jobs the same thing day in and day out yay for me.
I really feel like I’m just drifting around, like there is no meaning to what I do, every day is the same, treading water and never getting anywhere. And apparently I’m not as nice as I thought I was I apparently project a little bit of a not nice attitude – who knew! I’m feeling a bit sad about this today I will just have to accept that this is it, and be happy with never quite getting what I want and being happy with below average.